I'm gonna review a Spider-Man comic, because it's been a long time since i've posted anything.
Very recently (last year) I went to a yard sale and found a guy that was selling a lot of comic books, and I purchased 2 of them, one was a copy of Action Comics #1 Facsimile Edition, and the other was the Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man Derailed TPB, guess which one I'm gonna be reviewing today? Action Comics is gonna have to wait because I have a Spider-Man comic to review.
I'm gonna be checking out Issue number 5, because I actually really ____ it. Read the rest of the review and then fill the blank.
Written by Peter David, drawn by Mike Wieringo & Roger Cruz. Review written by me.
The cover depicts some girl on her computer, just typing away, while Spider-Man is crawling on the wall. Cover's good, I have no jokes to make here, let's move on.
The comic begins with someone writing stupid shit on a blog and complaining about why no one comments. Ok. We continue to hear this girl's yapping about how she met Spider-Man or something and we also hear Vanna's parents arguing, which is never brought up again.
Entry #17: There's some yapping about how on July 4th,1776, King George III wrote in his journal "Nothing important happened today"
So, like, picture this: a few hours back, Vanna is totally slaying it with the cheerleaders, you know, just vibing with her squad (as one does), and then there's Flash Thompson, and oh, don't forget about this random dude called Peter Palmer... 'kay.
BUT THEN THE VULTURE SHOWS UP and does nothing to the cheerleaders, but they all run away, except for Vanna, it's not because she's too scared to run, but because NOBODY TELLS VANNA WHAT TO DO, That's the spirit... You're an idiot, Vanna.
This is a Spider-Man comic, and Spider-Man is on the cover, so that must mean that Spider-Man is in the story, right? Spidey is underneath the bleachers, which begs the question, how does Spidey change his costume in seconds? By the time he's done, the villains could get away. Who cares? It's just a comic.
1 awesome scene later, Vanna just assumes that Spidey is a peeping tom to boot... whatever that means, and we cut to 566 blog entries later and Vanna is at the NEW YORK SCIENCE MUSEUM, hell yeah, baby.
Obviously, Spider-Man was hanging around as well, probably skulking in the shadows... Waiting for just the right opportunity.
Coincidentally, Ol' Webhead just so happens to enter the same bathroom as Vanna, and she instantly has the same reaction as the average New Yorker upon seeing Spider-Man, and she instantly hits him with her mighty purse... Though how Spidey didn't avoid getting hit is beyond me. Guess the Spider-Sense doesn't work against purses
It turns out this was all part of a fight against the Looter. Vanna decides to assume that Spider-Man is a stalker and that he is staging these fights to impress her.
Entry #1479. He showed up again today. This time he didn't say anything to her. Pretended he was "busy" fighting that Sandman guy that he didn't even notice her.
Entry #1621: Spider-Man simply can't keep away from her, and all his "super-villain" pals are working with him so he can keep trying to "impress" her.
Vanna must be stupid because she just decides to request a restraining order against Spider-Man. The judge is skeptical about it, but he does it anyways because he gets paid.
J. Jonah Jameson calls ol' Vanna cause i guess it must be a slow news day or something. Since this is the Daily Bugle, they call their ONLY photographer, Peter Parker. Vanna does not recognize her classmate and neither does Peter.
Cut to a billion years later, the sky has turned gray from all the pollution and Spider-Man died after slipping on a banana peel and then getting stabbed by the Green Goblin using a rusty nail. Vanna is now old and wrinkly, and she sits on a bench, as you do. But you can't sit on a bench in the Marvel Universe without finding at least 1 important character, and guess what? Mary Jane Watson-Parker is there, and she is about to give a REALITY CHECK to Vanny girl.
It turns out that Peter wasn't the Amazing Stalker-Man, but it was all just a little coincidence. It also turns out that Vanna was just attention seeking this whole fucking time, wooowww...
Entry #15,270: Nothing important happened today.
The comic is over, what an adventure that was, we saw some good things, some things that made no sense, but you haven't heard my thoughts on this comic!
This comic captured my interest with its unique premise, unlike anything seen before in a Spider-Man comic. The artwork is of high quality and visually appealing, featuring colors that are uncommon in comics nowadays. Overall, I find it quite impressive and would rate it 8 out of 10.
NEXT TIME ON SPIDER-PLUSH THE WEBSITE: Uhm... I... Don't know... Feel free to suggest ideas over at eddiespiderplushfanmail@gmail.com
ko-fi.com/spiderplush (Donations go towards me being a guest on Talk Tuah)
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