It's finally time to finish this comic. Believe it or not, i didn't know this comic only had 5 issues until i bought them all on the Marvel Comics App before it died (I still won't forgive them), all this time I thought the other issues were just not on the app, then I looked at the website and nope, 5 issues, this really was the end for Gwenpool, sure, she had guest appearances every now and then, but this was her last comic that was actually about her... Or at least until Love Unlimited issues #43-48 (2023) dropped.
Since this is the end of an era, i shall now point out many things i missed and things that i should've brought up in the past reviews.
ISSUE 1.
On page 26, Gwen kindly asks the readers to go back to page 19, which could mean that either the comic thinks that the readers have some sort of short-term memory loss, or it could mean that the comic wants us to read in an endless loop until we either go insane or die. OR it could just be a silly joke, that's possible.
I wonder what Gwen would've done if another superhero showed up at the bank instead of Spider-Man.
Marvel's Legacy Numbering system is stupid as shit sometimes, this is not issue 26 of the original series, and it never will be.
ISSUE 2:
I probably should've complained more about the first 4 pages being about sex jokes, but i don't know what i was expecting from a comic that has DEADPOOL in it.
Fun Fact: Leah Williams was gonna insert a reference to 4chan's /co/ board, now, i have never used 4chan, i never will, I've heard way too many horror stories and i am too scared to know what goes on in the comics board. I'll just stick to hearing dumbasses on twitter complain about shit they're gonna buy anyways.
Let's talk about the scene where Gwen texts her ex-boyfriend. Prior to making the review, i had absolutely no clue as to who this Quentin guy was... Until like a month later when i read West-Coast Avengers. Quentin Quire is a character from the X-Men comic series, i don't know what his mutant powers are. He's tasked with filming a reality show where he films the lives of the West-Coast Avengers (the less cool ones). His relationship with Gwen just comes from literally nowhere, they just kissed one day and that's it.
ISSUE 3:
The FF must be pretty fucking stupid if they can be stopped by COFFEE, i mean, they've fought like giant monsters, DOCTOR FUCKING DOOM, and even GALACTUS but they get stopped by coffee? Wow, these guys are getting a movie next year.
The scene where Gwen scares artist David Baldeon makes no fucking sense, it's hard to explain, but it just doesn't make any kind of sense, did he just draw the panel and THEN get scared? Did he get scared while drawing the panel? WHAT THE FUCK?
Is the comic really trying to guilt trip us into buying it? If that's the case, then it worked because I've had to purchase a digital copy TWICE now.
The comic claims that we're gonna "love" it... Fuck you.
So far, the tactics they've used to "boost" sales have been putting well-known heroes in the story, sex jokes and innuendos, guilt tripping, and eye candy.
This is the second time in the 2010's that someone has shot Bruce Banner.
ISSUE 4:
WOW, i cannot fucking believe that they got Christopher Hastings to write ONE WHOLE PAGE for this comic. Y'know what this reminds me of? Amazing Spider-Man #200, where STAN LEE wrote 1 page. However, this one isn't done as well, you see, ASM200 had a fun little game where you had to guess which page was written by Stan, and if you got it right, you would get a No-Prize. With this one, they just tell you which page it was for their funny little 4th-wall-breaking joke.
I had never seen so many 4th wall jokes since i watched skull902's Sonic & Mario series.
Can we finally review issue 5? Please? Thank you.
This is the cover for issue 5, not drawn by Terry Dodson, not drawn by ANYONE. This is a picture taken by a cosplayer who goes by @elena_strikes on twitter. What, did you think Dodson could make hyper-realistic art? No, this is a picture.
Man, i wish Marvel contacted me so i could be in the cover of one of their comics, i will be on the cover for an issue of Spider-Man one day! Cebulski, i'm coming for your shit.
Gwen does NOT, in fact, go home in this issue, but you cannot say the cover has false advertising because there's clearly a question mark right there.
This issue was written by Leah Williams, again. Pencils by David Baldeon... Again. This makes a lot of sense.
Issue 5 begins with BEES. Why does Frank Castle keep bees under his bed? Everyone does that, don't be stupid. Wow, that scene was completely and totally...
POINTLESS!
We're back to the real story.
The Avengers are arguing over how to exit whatever place that is but Gwen just spawns a door, wow, life is so easy when you have superpowers.
There is only 1 person left to fight. And that is Ms. Marvel, but she doesn't wanna fight! That would be punching down, and that's bullying. So instead, she is gonna give a reality check to our protagonist.
It turns out that Gwen is not from the real world... WOW! I NEVER WOULD'VE FUCKING GUESSED THAT YOU CAN'T GO INTO A COMIC WORLD! THANK YOU, MARVEL. We also get the revelation that she is a MUTANT, and that her comic reality power thing is just a fabricated memory.
She made it all up, there is no real world, YOU, the one reading this, are not real, I am not real either, this is all a big simulation, the CIA doesn't want you to know that this is a simulation. (NOTE: To the guy with a sniper outside my window, it's just a joke.)
Kamala wins, but we don't see her win Tony Stark's Cash Prize... Plot hole!
The story of Gwen Poole is over, she's gone, no return. She crosses the Krakoan gate... Whatever that is, and she gets to be... a fucking MUTANT. What a load of bullshit, i HATE the X-Men.
Gwen says goodbye to the readers, telling us once again that she loves us, which is FALSE AGAIN BECAUSE I AM STILL UNLOVABLE. This scene is pretty sweet though.
The story ends with a Looney Tunes reference. Be sure to email those motherfuckers over at the X-Men office and let them know your thoughts.
The comic is over and i never have to read this shit again... or at least until June 2025... Or I can just read the marvel wiki... Or these reviews...
How was this issue? Not bad. I actually kinda like the finale... Some of it, at least.
How was the series? Not good. I would rather get kicked in the nuts than read this shit again. Actually, getting kicked in the nuts sounds pretty painful, maybe i wouldn't prefer that... But this series is still just not a good read. I did NOT have fun, and if i don't have fun while reading a comic, then what's the fucking point?
I'm sure Leah Williams is a good writer, but this is just not it. Just another example of good writers making bad stories. But hey, she works in the comic industry and i don't, so who's the real loser? That's right, me.
The art is good most of the time and some of the jokes actually were kinda funny. That's all i can say, what, do you think i'm the best critic in the world? No, i'm just some kid on a computer.
FINAL VERDICT:
Issue 1: 6/10
Issue 2: 4/10
Issue 3: 6/10
Issue 4: 7.5/10
Issue 5: 7.6/10
FINAL SCORE FOR THE WHOLE SERIES: FUCKYOU/10, ONLY BUY THIS IF YOU WANNA GO THROUGH AN EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER.
NEXT REVIEW: I don't know, but i'll probably announce it on my twitter.
ko-fi.com/spiderplush (Money goes towards me getting to be in the cover for the next issue of Amazing Spider-Man)
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