Some of you may remember my review of Gwenpool Strikes Back #1 from way back in June of 2023. I remember it because of that Atop The Fourth Wall joke at the beginning of the post, i could tell you what else i said about the comic but i am definitely not looking back at my old shit. but the most important aspect of the review was that i didn't like it.
Some others may remember the 17th Birthday Special, in which i did a short review of issue #2. and i really fucking hated it. But i didn't go too much into details and pretty much just wrote about how much i hate that stupid-ass character Deadpool.
Well, I'm here to tell you why this comic sucks by giving you a PAGE-FOR-PAGE, PANEL-BY-PANEL (ok maybe not panel-by-panel) ANALYSIS. While also reviewing issue 3, because a little birdie tells me that this issue is not as bad as the first 2 hell spawns.
Comic is written by Leah Williams, and the art was made by David Baldeon.
THE COVER. (By Terry Dodson)
It's actually pretty good. It's well drawn and definitely makes me wanna pick up a copy. The image here depicts Gwenpool (DUH!) kissing Reed Richards, also known as Mr. Fantastic, also known as the guy from that movie nobody watched. The other members of the Fantastic Four are watching this scene unfold right in front of them. Johnny and Ben are just watching and probably thinking "Pfft, what a weirdo" and Susan is just like "WHAT THE FUCK?"
Good cover, i guess.
FIRST PAGE, it's horrible. Gwen is in the void (or whatever the hell that place is) talking to us, the readers. She gives us a polite greeting, then she's like "Dude, i'm not like other characters" and she proceeds to snatch the panel and """kiss""" the viewer (gosh, so much kissing in this comic) and she says and i quote "I love you" though we all know that is false because i am completely unlovable. Oh, and then she decides to sit on the panel... Whatever.
Second page is a monologue featuring the one and only Deadpool. yippee... We get an ass shot of Gwen and then she says that "Gurihiru art or nah, you'd still hit it", this scene was completely and totally necessary because if it wasn't there, the comic would've been... uhm... i don't know...
next page is a splash page, and Deadpool is pole dancing because WHO GIVES A FLYING SHIT. But at least we get an important message, which is "Support your local comic shop!", i wish i could, but i have to travel by plane, boat, train, horse and by foot to get to my nearest comic shop. Chibi Gwen is also there, remember her? She was in the first issue. This time, she's here to say, "This is the sex sells issue", however i don't know how to view comic book sales, so i wouldn't be able to tell you if sex sold.
You know what? I should start using the "sex sells" mentality and start putting softcore porn on everything i make, I'm such a genius, i'll become a billionaire in no time.
At this point, most people would've probably used this comic as toilet paper, but 1, i care about comic preservation, and 2, I'm here to make a review.
Deadpool asks about Gwen's age and then Gwen literally stops the story so she can explain to the readers that she is, in fact, 19 years of age, and then decides to call comic writers "pervs", ok, let's move on.
We're like 5 pages in and we still don't know what their goal is, so what are Deadpool and Gwenpool gonna do? Why are the Fantastic Four on the cover? Well, they're on the cover so they can boost the sales, but they're also in the story. Gwen somehow enters the Fantastic Four's shitty unorganized basement by climbing over the panel, neato. And the reason why she's in their basement is because they're on a "Search-and-seduce" mission.
The FF's basement has all sorts of cool stuff, like broken robots, and cardboard cut-outs of each member of the team. Ok. Deadpool is like "Hey don't you have a bf at the moment" and Gwen just says "nah bruh" and just breaks up with her bf via text. i have no idea who that was.
Small complaint, also known as a nitpick, but how does Gwen know the "I love you 3000" thing? Do the Avengers movies exist in earth 616? Or maybe they wanted to advertise their new movie, but they didn't need to advertise it in a story when they had already spent millions in making trailers, tv spots, posters, commercials- let's just move on with the story because i am not making another fucking 30 minute read.
Gwen puts on the Invisible Woman's wedding dress and starts to kiss some cardboard cutouts. Ok. BUT THEN, a wacky misunderstanding happens and she accidentally kisses the real Mr. Fantastic, this is the part where you laugh your ass off, and roll on the floor laughing, and laugh out loud. How could you mistake an actual human being for a cardboard cutout? I have no idea.
A wacky fight ensues, it has everything i ever wanted from a comic book fight, jokes, fruit snacks, references to other comics i didn't read, kink-shaming.
Deadpool and Gwenpool are vored by Reed Richards, and they have a little conversation inside of him. Gwen tells Wade that she unmasked Spider-Man for her first cover, and Wade doesn't take this well and points a gun towards our protagonist and the issue ends.
This issue sucks, it's not funny, it's stupid, it's gross, and worst of all, DEADPOOL IS HERE.
I still stand by what i said on Random Hour 3, 4/10, don't pick up a copy of this shit.
Don't go to another tab just yet, cause i still have to review issue #3. I mean, i guess i can't stop you from going to another tab, you have your own free will and I'm just some joe on a computer.
Issue 2 was not good, but Issue 3 might be, let's check it out.
It's made by the same other guys that made the other 2 issues, meaning that it's probably gonna be the same shit again.
The cover depicts Gwen at the beach, and the Hulk is there too, about to fucking destroy everything it's gonna be super awesome and shit. What do you think is gonna happen in this issue? Well, obviously they are going to the north pole. OF COURSE NOT, THEY'RE GOING TO THE BEACH. You're so stupid.
The story begins by cussing out the reader. Classy. Gwen is running away from Deadpool and the Fantastic Four, why? you may ask? go back to issue 2, dummy.
Gwen jumps out of the page and scares artist David Baldeon, spilling his coffee, and somehow the coffee spills into the Marvel Universe, and the FF are like "FUCK, NO! COFFEE!" but then Gwen goes to the void again, and Deadpool is there too because
Wade explains that Gwen is earnest, but this is done in the form of a chart. Deadpool then walks off, and we never see him again for the rest of the series. Thank fuck.
It is at this point that the story stops being about Gwen running away and literally starts being about boosting the fucking sales. I do have to give them props for including a Yoshi's Island reference.
Gwen has brought like 20 characters i've never read about to this beach, why? Because eye candy sells, and because they have a story to tell. She explains to the people on the island why they're all here, this is a battle royale, which pretty much predicted the latest Fortnite Season.
We also get to see the M.O.D.O.K. crew from the OG series, which is a neat little detail.
Gwen makes up a lie about a cash prize donation from Tony Stark, and everyone believes it, even Tony himself.
Everyone's about to start fighting, but then Gwen reveals that she has a cage, and in that cage is Bruce Banner, the cage is then opened, and Gwen shoots Banner, which can only end well. Banner turns into The Hulk, and the fighting begins, and we get the cover shot.
But the Hulk is willing to kill Gwenpool, how is she gonna get out of this one? Find out next time, same Gwen-Time, same Gwen-Channel.
And then the issue ends.
I gotta say, this issue is not as bad as the other 2, it starts off shitty, and then it starts to somehow become a little bit decent. This is the first issue of this series that doesn't make me want to die.
I'd say this one gets a 6/10.
That's it for this review, for my next review... i'll have to figure that one out.
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